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What Happened?

September 17, 2018

 

 

One of the challenges I faced recently made me question my sanity. Fortunately, it didn’t weaken my faith but made me more dependent on God. And like what is said in the Bible, God will be our strength when we are weak. I believe I was okay spiritually, but my mind and my body were broken.  


At that point, I sought friends who dared to dream dreams that were bigger than themselves.

I have a close friend whom I served with in the ministry before. He now owns his own company. Fortunately, I was able to reach him via Messenger.

We did the usual his, hellos, small talk and did a bit of chitchat. Then I told him of my struggle. My exact words were, “I think the weight of my responsibilities are getting to me.”

He then said, “You will overcome that, we eat pressure for breakfast remember?”

We bid goodbye after that but his statement echoed in my head long after.

I remembered the days when we worked together to set up events that were never done before with limited time and resources. We really ate pressure for breakfast and I loved it! When I look back, I remember happy times and not times of despair. We did what seemed impossible and made it happen.

It made me ask my this question: What happened to me? When did I get so scared?

I remembered this verse:

Numbers 14:11
English Standard Version (ESV)


11 And the Lord said to Moses, “How long will this people despise me? And how long will they not believe in me, in spite of all the signs that I have done among them?

Wow. It hit me. Do I despise God because of my attitude of fear? Why do I fear when He showed me miracles?

I fasted and prayed that day. I asked God to bring me back the courage and confidence that I lost because of my circumstances. I know He heard me.

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